Irate people - WHY ARE THEY YELLING AT ME?!

Anytime you work with the general public, you will be exposed to persons who are upset about one thing or another. 

If you are on the phones talking to people you are at an even higher disadvantage because you cannot sway them with your beauty, distract them with your naturally flirtatious nature, hypnotize them with your body language, and expose them to the charm that oozes from every pore of your body... unfortunate, isn't it? 

By telephone, you are reliant on your voice to get the attention of the other person on the line, to keep their attention, and to educate them as to HOW you are going to help them. 

I believe as "telephone personalities" we have several other disadvantages: 1. Network marketing professionals are often confused with telemarketers... YUCK! We have to change this and the only way to do it is to change the way we talk to people. 2. If they can't see us, they have no problem taking their frustrations out on us. 3. Since they don't know us, common courtesy can be completely thrown out the window. 4. Since we called them and they CHOSE to answer the phone, we have somehow encroached on their private space and private time. 

People can be funny, or at least we can say they are interesting! 

Here are my tips for dealing with someone who is yelling, swearing, and exhibiting out of control and unreasonable behavior. 

First step - Stop thinking of this person as an adult and PRETEND they are a three year old having a temper tantrum. Imagine a toddler laying on the floor, kicking their legs, face contorted and red with anger, and feel sorry for them. Seriously! Could you imagine losing complete control of yourself like this person? It must feel awful. Just like a toddler, this person is acting in an irrational manner most likely caused by a lack of sleep, hunger, or some frustration of which they are unable to clearly communicate.

Second step - Stay calm and talk in a very quiet voice. Talk quietly: not quite a whisper but quiet enough that they can't hear what you are saying. "Why?" you may be asking, it is basic psychology: they will want to hear what you are saying. This works with toddlers too! If you raise your voice and try to interrupt them you are fueling their fire AND they can hear you over their own ranting and raving. Also, if you SOUND upset, they are getting what they set out to accomplish: ruin your day just as they feel their day was ruined! Take a deep breath and talk in a quiet and soothing tone.

Third step - Make them an offer they can't refuse. Remember, this person is upset for a reason... a reason they probably have not disclosed to you. Do NOT say that you understand what they are going through, but you CAN "understand" that they are upset. Say something like:

"I understand you are upset. When I was working in the corporate rat-race [was juggling FT work and being a mom/unappreciated at my last job/commuting 4 hours a day/etc.] I was always tired and angry; I never felt appreciated. I'd like to help you. I called as a favor to you, to tell you how you can work from home and find financial freedom. We are currently training future millionaires."

This is when you stop talking and count to five (to yourself). If they say nothing, skip to step four. If they ask you a question or tell you to continue, take a quiet deep breath and say:

"I am going to send you an email [or resend the email] with information about the company and my contact information. You can review this information when it is convenient for you. Then, if you'd like to talk you can call me." 

Then you say your farewell and disconnect. I recommend ending the call at this point because I WOULD NEED A TIME OUT and a moment to recoup. If you are not phased by this behavior, then by golly give them your pitch! Just stay calm, don't be too cheerful, and give them the straight forward facts. Answer their questions and close the deal. 

The problem with people who act in this manner is their future responses are an unknown. They may feel embarrassed and guilty the next day and uncomfortable calling you; or they may act like this on a regular basis and not feel a single morsel of remorse. If you chose to work further with this person is up to you. 

Fourth step - If all else fails, hang up. Simply say:

"<Name>, I would like to wish you the best in your future endeavors. Thank you for your time."

Wait for another five count and hang up the phone. Brush off the dust, take a break, say a prayer for that person. I usually cry for a minute - yes, I really do and it is OK! I am a sensitive person; irrational and unreasonable behavior that seems directed at me affects me. But then I work through it and don't dwell on it! Before you know it I am cracking a joke about the person and then I am feeling sorry for them. 

Their reaction was AT you but not because of you. They were yelling AT you but not to you. Remember the unreasonable and irrational temper tantrum of a three year old... and how lucky you are to only be on the phone with this person and not in the same room.

Jessica

For most of my adult like I worked in a call center environment. I have been yelled at, cussed at, threatened, and blamed for the sun setting. I learned many coping mechanisms but my favorite is laughter. Find the humor in life.